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Monthly Archives: January 2017

Types of Love

In our society, love has been given different names. Eros, Storge, Pragma, Agape, Ludus, and Mania are the six types of love that are known by the intensity and intent of how we love someone.

Eros―the passionate love.
Perhaps, this is the most evident form of love all of us have experienced it at some point or the other. As the name suggests, it is a type of love in which desire, physical attraction, physical appearance, and romance are given top priority. Eros is the name of the Greek God of love. As a noun, it means ‘sexual love or desire’. In this type, the levels of passion and physical intimacy are high. People who love this way are very charged up, emotional, and gung-ho about their relationship initially … but as time passes, the intensity reduces.

Pronounced as Stor-gay, this form talks about the familial love we experience in our society. The love we feel for our parents and siblings is what constitutes storge. It is beautiful to experience this bonding; lucky are the people who have families. When extended to love between couples, storge focuses on building a compassionate, caring, and emotional bonding.

Pragma―the need-based love.
Ever met people who’re practical and completely rational in their relationships? Pragma focuses more on needs and wants―educational qualifications, professions, income, social status, common hobbies, parental possessions, material belongings, etc. Partners measure their satisfaction in the relationship as per convenience. The day their heart takes over … well, it’s a mistake of a lifetime.

Agape―the divine love.
Agape (pronounced as A-GAH-pey) in Greek, is considered to be the purest form of love. It promotes brotherly affection and love for each other. In fact, it is exactly what all religions have been trying to teach us. It is basically love for all around us; to possess a compassionate heart. A mention of this love in the Bible goes like this: If a person has material resources and the love (agape) of God within him, his heart will take care of his brother who is in need (1 John 3:17).

People who have a tendency of giving up on relationships as soon as the initial euphoria is over, are said to be in a Ludus form of love. A ludus lover does not work toward a long-term commitment, and senses a form of thrill only in the initial days of the relationship.

Mania―the obsessive love.
As the name suggests, this is the worst form of love. It is full of extreme reactions like insecurity, jealousy, obsession, compulsion, and unrealistic demands. While a partner may feel important initially―given that his/her partner is so dedicated to him/her―the truth is far from different. Breaking away from such a relationship is equally difficult; do it NOW.

What is Love

Dictionaries have different meanings for this word. But when I think about it, my mind conjures up images of all kinds of beautiful things that I have always associated with love. Flowers, chocolates, candle light dinners, hearts, soft toys, clothes and perfumes, (I hope I haven’t left anything out!) these are the words that have become synonymous with love … but what about the feelings and emotions associated with it!

I remember growing up with stars in my eyes and love songs ringing through my ears. Slowly my dreams grew bigger and I started waiting for my Prince Charming to come along and take me with him to a beautiful land where we would be surrounded by servants, good clothes, flowers and jewelry. One day I realized the truth about love … that it was much more than material comforts and gains.

Love is Sharing
Believe me when I say that this is one of the most important ingredients of love. It is important to open ones heart and share – your happiness, your sorrows, your fears, your victories… everything, it really does not matter, as long as the heart is clear. Love is being honest and knowing that the other person feels the same way too, it is sharing and losing ones inhibitions and knowing that the person on the other side will never be judgmental.

Love is Talking
Yes, love is talking. It is about speaking, telling and sharing. After some time people restrict their conversations to discussing bills, children and pets. This is a sure indicator of things going down hill. Bring the spark back by starting a conversation. Talking can help solve matters that otherwise might lead to misunderstandings. Another aspect of that is listening. Talking is useless if the other person is not listening. Learn to listen too.

Love is Spending Time Together
A few minutes spent together everyday keeps the boredom away. I just made this up right now, but it is because I feel there is nothing like time invested in a relationship…believe me, it pays! Heavy work schedule takes up much time and effort, so it is important to get things into perspective. Spending time with each other will let you understand the other person better, help you know them better. And I believe that it gives the relation a different feel.

Love is Trust
When you love someone, you have to trust them. Love without trust is not possible. When you open your heart to someone, you have to trust them to take care of it, forever. Trust means that you have the confidence in the other person that they will keep their promises, be faithful and be there for you always.

Love is Faithfulness
To love means to be true, to love unconditionally means to give with all your heart to one, and only one. Being faithful in a relationship is very important, in love… it is the next thing to trust. Love is when you realize that that person is the best thing that has happened to you and you want to cherish that person and the moments spent with them, till death do you part.

Love is Being Friends
Love is being friends with each other. Enjoying simple pleasures in life like shopping, catching a movie or watching television at home, apart from a host of other things that “Friends” normally do! You have to tell them your secrets and keep theirs, be there for each other, and respect and trust each other.

And, as clichéd as this may sound… Love is looking together in the same direction, having the same goals and taking steps in that direction to make them come true.

Dating Ideas for Single Parents

Plan for a Movie and then Lunch.
Plan for a fun movie followed by lunch at your favorite restaurants, as cliche as it sounds, but this dating idea is one of the simplest and easiest ever, if it happens to be your first date. No doubt this date is going to be pressure filled, but a fun movie and a familiar location to dine at, would ease out the pressure and it would only be easier to gel with each other. Plus it is not difficult to find a baby sitter in the late afternoon or early evening.

Head to an Amusement Park
If you have a problem finding a baby sitter, just take your kids along on the date. Head to an amusement park! This will allow your kids to gel with your date as well. While the kids enjoy the rides and play in the park, you get some lone time for yourselves. Get to know each other and if you guys are comfortable and enjoy each others company, go ahead and plan a full-fledged date, (this time without the kids).

Double Date
Dating as single parents can be a little uncomfortable and awkward, to get over this, plan for a double date. Get your friend and her husband along or vice versa. This will not only help you to open up on the date, but also make you feel less nervous and more comfortable. And if you think the date is worth giving another chance, plan for another date during the week, so as to get to know each other deeper.

Enjoy the Karaoke Nights Together
You can have a blast at the karaoke bar, all you have to do is, know the words to some cheesy yet fun song, that can make your date feel at ease. Here, you are not there to impress each other, but rather to pass some fun time and get to know each other. So, get on the dance floor sing, dance and enjoy the music. There is no rush that you have to get into a relationship soon, so take your time, know each other well, and try to take things as they come.

Watch the Sunrise Together
If you find it difficult to take time out of your busy schedule due to the long working hours, plan for a moonlight trek. Go out on a trek at 4 in the morning. You don’t have to worry about kids, as they would be fast asleep. With headlamps and a trekking suit on, climb the steep land and reach the peak to watch the sunrise together. Sit down and talk, spend some quality time and then get back to your daily routine. After the meet, you probably purposefully will take some time out to plan a date again!

Way to Fall in Love

Falling in Love

Mechanics of Love
To be loved, means to be wanted, cared for, and more importantly understood. These are somewhat the construed mechanics of love. As a child, as a sibling, as a girlfriend, as a boyfriend, as a wife, as a mother, as a father, as a friend, and through many other relations you have felt these technical aspects of love. They count even if they are in the smallest or the biggest of measurements. Love brings euphoria, elation, lightness, bliss, and a sense of completeness. So, if love is the answer for how to be happy in life, what’s stopping you?

The Fear
We humans are ingrained with an incorrigible habit of believing in Murphy’s law, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Precisely, with this defeatist attitude we miss out evident avenues of affection and try to figure out ways of how to fall in love with someone. This how the fear of commitment initiates. But, an interesting thing to note here is what do you really have to lose? When there is nothing to lose, there is no need to fear either.

Combating Fear of Commitment
What is commitment? It’s not being stuck in shackles of someone else’s whims and fancies. A commitment is a choice you make (a voluntary decision) to be with someone you love, because the person brings out the best in you. If being with your husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend, is going to bring out the best in you, then, technically, it DOES work in your favor. And by this you are free to make or break a commitment!

Focal Point
Falling in love is about accepting the person for who they are. It is about a companionship which complements togetherness. If you really want to be with a person, you need to focus on how this person in question helps you to grow both, intellectually and spiritually. If you can be what you are when you are with this person, it’s time you take the plunge.

The Plunge
It’s time, to make it or leave it. The plunge is not some switch you’ve got to turn on. It the moment of truth you’ve got to accept about yourself, undauntedly. If you’ve followed the aforementioned steps, you are ready to be with the person in question. Confess your love without a shadow of a doubt or without a trace of a waver. Don’t worry about being rejected or accepted. It’s always about loving someone, the returns are always in surplus. With this epoch making moment of your life, you would’ve successfully answered the Herculean question of how to fall in love.